


Absolute Lithops Effect

by BluebeardsWife



Series: Isak and Even: Minute by Minute [3]
Category: SKAM (TV)
Genre: Angst, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, University Setting, no smut but lots of implied sexy times
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-03-06
Updated: 2017-03-24
Packaged: 2018-09-28 16:21:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,039
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10136357
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BluebeardsWife/pseuds/BluebeardsWife
Summary: Isak visits Even in NYC over winter break.(sequel to "Life is Now")





	1. Chapter 1

Isak looked out of the small oval window of the airplane as the ground receded beneath them. His stomach rumbled with anxiety as the tiny buildings, surrounded by toy cars and patches of green, became indiscernible. By the time the plane settled into a comfortable speed and height, all he could see was a patch of seemingly endless blue-gray sky, spattered occasionally with the soft fluff of clouds. He settled back into his seat.

It was not only his first trip overseas, but also his first time on an airplane. He hadn’t really had time to be nervous until now - with the rush of exams and the end of the semester, he had barely had time to _think_. That morning, he had scooped together a few items of clothing, some random necessities, and Even’s Christmas present, thrown them into a large carry-on bag, and rushed to the airport, almost forgetting his passport.   

Truth be told, he was more nervous about seeing Even again than flying. He had secretly been counting down the days for the past two months. Every evening, he drew a big X across one square on his calendar, and the distance between him and the trip felt more manageable. He kept the calendar squeezed between his box spring and mattress, like a teenage boy hiding dirty magazines from his parents. But now that the day had finally arrived, his head was swarming with all the ways things could go wrong.

He and Even had texted over Skype nearly every day and had regular video chats that sometimes went on for hours, so there really was no rational grounds for his anxiety – but rational thoughts never stood a chance in the face of his feelings for Even. The fact that they had both been so busy with school the past couple of weeks meant that their conversations were brief and scattered, and though Even had clearly expressed excitement about his visit, Isak couldn’t shake the completely irrational fear that he wouldn’t be there to pick him up at the airport. The 8-hour flight seemed to last forever, and yet, when the flight attendants started preparing for landing, Isak felt startled and unprepared. The rumbling in his stomach returned with full force. Looking out of the window again, he could see the ocean and, in the distance, the twinkling lights of New York City.

Disoriented, tired, and nervous, Isak stood in a long line of people going through passport control. It seemed to be moving fairly quickly, and as the door leading to the terminal gradually came into view, his worries gave way to a quiet excitement. Finally, his passport received a large stamp, and he walked into the terminal, reminding himself to breathe. He followed the signs to the Welcome Center, as instructed, and scanned the small cluster of expectant faces for Even. He shouldn’t have been hard to spot, considering his height, but Isak had to slow down and look through the waiting crowd again. Still no Even. Isak took a deep breath, willing himself to chill, but his mouth felt dry, and he could hear his heart thumping hollowly in his head.

“Isak?” an unfamiliar voice made him turn around, and he found himself facing a young woman with pink streaks in her curly brown hair. She was very short and looking at him uncertainly.

“Rosie?” Isak had interacted with Even’s roommate on several occasions over Skype, but he wasn’t entirely certain that he had recognized her. Until, that is, she squealed and practically jumped into his arms, hugging him tightly.

“Hi! So nice to finally meet you! Oh my god, you’re even more handsome than I thought. I mean, of course you are, have you seen Even?” She giggled at her own words before gasping, as though just now noticing Isak’s confusion.

“Oh, right, oh,” she said quickly, suddenly getting serious. “Even is _really_ sorry that he couldn’t come pick you up. But I’m here to take you back to our place until he comes back. He’s doing some last minute shoot for his final project, his group is a bunch of shitheads, seriously, you don’t know the half of it, poor Even, he works so hard, and he was so excited to see you,” she chattered away as she grabbed Isak’s arm and steadily pulled him towards the exit.

Isak could barely get a word in edgewise and had some trouble following her English at five billion words per minute. Rosie didn’t seem to notice, so he just let her prattle on as they got on the subway. Isak followed her obediently as they switched trains and finally exited at the Morgan stop, which he assumed was where Even’s apartment was. Though the air outside was bracingly cold, it was a nice change from the oppressive stuffiness of the plane, airport, and subway.   

They climbed up two flights of stairs to a smallish but cozy apartment, and she gave him a brief tour before opening Even’s bedroom and letting him get situated.

“I’m sure you’re tired from the trip, so I’ll let you do your thing. You know where the bathroom is, there’s food and stuff in the kitchen if you’re hungry, I’m around if you need anything and ummmm… and you can hang out in Even’s room until he comes back if you want.”

Isak smiled at her and nodded. “Thanks,” he muttered as she walked out into the living room and closed the door behind her.

It felt strange being in Even’s bedroom. The walls were mostly decorated with his doodles, the small desk was hidden under stacks of folders and papers, and a small pile of crumpled clothing lay at the foot of the bed. It was simultaneously foreign and familiar, and Isak felt weirdly like he was intruding on Even’s personal space uninvited.

He wondered if maybe he shouldn’t have come. How could Even not even be there to greet him? Isak had no doubt that the project that kept Even from him was important, and of course he should always prioritize school, but he didn’t understand why this was the only time it could be done. Even had known Isak’s date of arrival for months. Surely, the shoot could have been scheduled at a different time.

With a sigh, he sat down on the bed. He was too tired to parse through this right now. He took off his clothes slowly, dug out an old white t-shirt from his luggage, and threw it on before getting under the blankets. The bed was soft and warm as Isak pulled the blankets tighter around himself and turned to face the wall, trying to take up as little space as possible. As his head hit the pillow, his heart ached at the familiar scent. Feeling lost and alone, he quickly drifted off to an uneasy sleep.

The click of a closing door startled him awake. It took him a moment to realize where he was. It was completely dark in the room, and he had no idea how long he had slept. Though he didn’t turn to look, he could feel Even’s presence a few feet away from the bed. Hoping that his rapid heartbeat was audible only to him, Isak remained quiet as he felt Even get into bed next him. With a gentle tug at the end of the blanket that Isak wasn’t gripping tightly, Even scooted closer to him, lay his head on the open edge of Isak’s pillow, and inhaled deeply. Isak felt warm breath on his neck and his whole body seemed to rebel against him. The gentle graze of Even’s finger across his back and down his arm was more than he could handle. As he turned around slowly, it no longer mattered why Even hadn’t picked him up at the airport. He could just make out Even’s face in the darkness, smiles spreading on both their faces as their eyes met.

“Hey you,” Even whispered, running his thumb down Isak’s cheek and jawbone. "I didn't mean to wake you."

“Hi,” Isak said hoarsely. All the doubt, the worry, the tension of the day melted away at the touch. He lifted his chin slightly, as Even leaned towards him, pausing just before their lips met to graze the tip of Isak's nose with his own.

Isak hated it when Even teased him like that, but his body responded, as always, with intense yearning that felt like a fever. Even looked at him longingly, gaze trailing across Isak’s lips, but resisted closing the gap between them. Finally, Isak reached up, buried his fingers in Even’s hair, and pulled him down into a lingering kiss, soft at first, then desperate and forceful. A whimper escaped Isak’s throat when their lips parted, and Even’s whole body seemed to tremble at his touch. Nothing mattered anymore except for the taste of Even on his tongue and the quivering whisper in his ear, “I missed you so much.”


	2. Chapter 2

 

The room was still pitch black when Isak woke up the next day to the rumbling of a large truck passing beneath the window.  He lay on his back for a while, just listening to the sound of Even’s steady breathing. Under the blanket, Even’s arm was draped across Isak’s chest, his forehead resting against his exposed shoulder. Faint sunlight slowly crept into the room, as Isak brushed gentle fingers across Even’s arm. It felt weird to be in New York. On a different continent. At a different time. Not least because it felt like home.

The idea of home had seemed foreign to Isak for a long time. He couldn’t really remember a time when he felt _at home_ in his home. With his parents, tensions had always been high, moods unpredictable, and part of him had to constantly remain on guard, or huddling for safety somewhere deep in his chest. Things were better with the Kollektivitet, but it wasn’t really until Even that he experienced the quiet safety of belonging. They didn’t always agree or even understand each other, but together, they formed a home.

Isak was annoyed at himself for having gotten so upset about Even not picking him up at the airport the previous night. It wasn’t really that big of a deal. He brushed a lock of hair away from Even’s face and pressed his lips against his forehead. A sigh escaped Even’s lips, but his eyes remained closed. Isak couldn’t tell if he was still asleep or faking it. He scooted down and onto his side, so that they were facing each other, and softly touched his index finger to the tip of Even’s nose. No response. He brushed his thumb across Even’s bottom lip and then tugged it ever so slightly. The smallest smirk formed on Even’s face, but he did not open his eyes. _Faker_. Sliding his arm back under the blanket, Isak ran his fingers slowly down Even’s side, pausing when he reached his waist, before pressing softly and wiggling his fingertips at what he knew to be Even’s most ticklish spot. As expected, Even squirmed before jerking away, grabbing Isak’s hand and pulling it back up to their chests.

“Morning,” Isak said, smiling.

“Mmhhmmm,” was all the response he got, with eyes still closed.  

“I’m bored,” Isak chuckled. He pressed his forehead against Even’s and allowed the tip of his nose to brush against his.

Finally, in a single smooth move, Even lifted his chin and pressed his lips to Isak’s, pushing him onto his back and pinning his hand down on the other side. Suppressing the happy tremble in his chest, Isak muttered against Even’s lips, “Ugh, morning breath.”

Now it was Isak’s turn to be tickled, and he squirmed until he nearly fell off the bed, laughing breathlessly.

“Shit, is this how you treat a guest?” he joked, sitting down at the edge of the bed. Even had fallen back onto the pillows, gazing at Isak with that soft, dazed look he sometimes got in his eyes that still made Isak blush. His messy hair spread in honey-colored ringlets across the pillow behind him, his lips opened into a happy grin that extended to his eyes.

“Hi baby,” he said, raising his eyebrows to add, “welcome to America!”

 

They took their time getting dressed that morning, pausing frequently for brief kisses and soft caresses. It was noon before they made it out of the bedroom and Even started putting together breakfast for them. Rosie was lounging on the rickety but soft couch in the living room. She set the book she was reading down on her chest when they walked in, and sighed dramatically.

“Finally!” she sat up. “I didn’t postpone my trip home to sit here by myself and read, you know!”

“Good morning to you, too,” Even replied cheerfully, setting a pan on the stove.

Isak shot her a confused look.

“Even promised I’d get to meet and hang out with you today,” Rosie explained. “I didn’t wanna bug you too much last night because I thought you’d be tired, I mean, obviously you were tired, so I didn’t wanna be rude, but come on,” she turned to Even. “You said it’d be fine!”

“It is,” Even shrugged, cracking open an egg into the sizzling pan.

“Plus, I’m hungry,” Rosie pouted, adding, “He cooks, I clean,” at the puzzled expression on Isak’s face.  

There was an air of domesticity between her and Even that suddenly made Isak envious. They got to do this every morning. She probably knew Even better than he did by now. _He’d be better off dating her._

“Don’t worry, I’m ace,” Rosie grinned at him. “And no interest in guys at all.” She chuckled, “trust me. This is purely platonic.”

For a moment, Isak wondered if he had said something out loud – how could she have known what he was thinking?

Even’s eyebrows shot up in surprise as he turned to look at Isak. “You jealous or something?” He laughed before returning to the stove.

“How did you…?” Isak didn’t know how to finish the sentence.

Rosie shrugged, getting some orange juice from the fridge and pouring a bit into three glasses.

“Oh, Rocio here is uh,” Even shook his head before laughing. “What are you? How _do_ you do that?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. I’m perceptive,” she said innocently.

“Well, I’m pretty damn sure she’s like psychic or something – she does that all the time,” Even explained. “But she claims she just knows how to read body language.” He divided the scrambled eggs onto three plates and raised an eyebrow. “Don’t trust her though, sometimes she just fucks with people.”

“Only when they deserve it,” Rosie smiled.

Rosie turned out to be quite pleasant to hang out with, even if Isak would have preferred alone time with his boyfriend. Her high energy kept them all going, and Even insisted on taking Isak to "the most American place of all" – a giant shopping mall. It was dark by the time they got back and Rosie disappeared into her bedroom, talking animatedly into her cellphone in Spanish.

The next day they were a trio again, and this time it was absolutely vital for Isak to visit Times Square, followed by a tour of the window displays in shops on Fifth Avenue. The city was quite beautiful, in an overwhelming way. There were twinkling lights, giant moving displays, enormous screens, and cheerfully-ringing holiday music at every turn. It was so vast and crowded that Isak started feeling claustrophobic, the way one might react to suddenly realizing he was alone in outer space. Rosie’s constant chatter started to irritate him, and he couldn’t help wondering how Even could stand living with her, and, more importantly, why he didn’t seem to want to be alone with him.

His mood didn’t improve when he was informed that they were going to a friend’s place after, where those who hadn’t gone home for the holidays were having a small Christmas party. Luckily, the party was only a few blocks from Even’s apartment, and Isak paid attention as they walked there, to make sure he would be able to make his own way back if things got to be too much.

As Even excitedly introduced him to several friends, Isak couldn’t shake the image of himself as a well-groomed dog being paraded at a show. It didn’t take long before the conversation turned to school related gossip and woes, and he quietly excused himself to go get another drink.

He grabbed a beer from the fridge, and leaned against the kitchen wall, hoping that he could blend in for a while without anyone noticing him through the open doors. He should have just stayed in Norway. He banged the back of his head softly against the wall and sighed. He was being stupid. He had no reason to be grumpy or feel insecure. Even was clearly happy to see him. He was just friendly and outgoing, as always. He couldn’t be expected to drop all his friends the moment his boyfriend came to town.

“Whatcha doin’?” Rosie’s chipper voice interrupted his reverie. _Shit._

“Uh, I’m just..” Isak stuttered, looking around and remembering the drink in his hand. “I’m getting a beer.”

Rosie stood next to him, leaning her back against the wall as well. She followed Isak’s gaze to the living room, where Even was standing, surrounded by people who all seemed to clamor for his attention. Embarrassed, Isak looked away and fixed his gaze on his beer instead.

“Even doesn’t talk about himself a lot, you know,” Rosie said suddenly. “He’s not exactly what you would call an open book.”

“Hm,” Isak glanced sideways at her. He wasn’t sure where this was going.

“He’s actually hard for me to read, too,” she continued, still looking over at Even. “But something’s up,” she turned abruptly to face Isak.

“What do you mean?”

“He’s been… missing classes, fucking up projects, sleeping all day...” she said. “That’s why he had to work when you arrived. If I didn't make him cook for me, he'd probably forget to eat. I think…” She shuffled her feet awkwardly before looking back up at Isak. “I mean, I’m no doctor or anything and I don’t wanna say anything out of turn, but-”

Isak nodded, encouraging her to finish.

“I think he’s depressed," she said finally. "And, um, I don’t know if that’s a thing that happens sometimes, or whatever,  he sure doesn’t talk about it, but… This whole thing,” she waved her hand in Even’s general direction. “He went from zero to a hundred real fast when you got here. I think… I think he just doesn’t want you to notice he’s struggling.”

Isak looked over at Even and it suddenly made sense. How could he not have noticed? He was so self-absorbed. Worst boyfriend ever award. Of course Even would try to hide that he was depressed. He wouldn’t want to ruin Isak’s visit.

“But, uh,” Rosie interrupted his thoughts again, “I didn’t say anything. If anyone asks. Just, you know," she shrugged. "I’m leaving for my parents’ house tomorrow, and I wanted to make sure he’d be ok. You know?” She glanced up at Isak with those big round eyes of hers and he understood why Even had decided to share an apartment with her.

He set his beer on the counter. “I’m just gonna uh…”

“See ya,” she gave him a small wave as he rushed off into the living room.

It was a small apartment, so it really shouldn’t have been possible to lose someone in it, but all of a sudden, Even was nowhere to be seen.


	3. Chapter 3

Even took a deep breath, willing himself to listen to his friends’ conversation.

“So I open the box,” Mike was saying with a smirk, “and it’s a fucking Bolex!”

Groans and grunts of disapproval sounded from the two young women standing to either side of Even. His friend Mike, a junior from Wyoming,  was the host of the party and literally never stopped talking about school – or, more specifically, about how much better he was at making movies than everyone else. Even forced a small smile and wondered where Isak had gone.

He wished they had stayed home in bed instead of coming to the party. He thought he could handle another busy and social day, but he was losing focus. His mind kept wandering, fixating on random objects in the room, like the large poster on the wall behind Mike, depicting a periodic table of alcoholic beverages. If they actually had real alcohol at this party instead of this shit beer, maybe it would have been more bearable.

“…don’t you, Even?” Jenny’s voice made him realize that he hadn’t been paying attention.

“Hm? What?”

“Didn’t you say that you loved working with the Bolex? Something about winding the crank or the sound, or..” she prompted.

“Oh, um, yeah,” Even covered quickly, “but I’m gonna make pretentious artsy films, not blockbusters like Michael here.”

“Was that a dig?” Laura piped in, looking over at Mike. “I think that was a dig at you!”

“Nah,” Even forced a laugh, stepping back. He had the distinct feeling that his chest was about to implode from the invisible vise that had been tightening its grip on him for weeks now. As cheerily and casually as he could muster, he said, “I’ll be right back,” before heading straight for the front door.

He glanced around the room on his way out, hoping for a glimpse of Isak, but all the noise was simultaneously too loud and too distant, the faces around him - laughing, talking, drinking - seemed grotesque and surreal, as though they occupied a different plane of reality than him. He ran down the stairs of the apartment building and burst out through the front door into the cold air, taking a deep breath.

It was quieter here, and calmer, but it didn’t help much. The inexhaustible solitude had crept into his veins again, and he felt trapped in his own body. How was he supposed to explain to Isak that he had wasted his time and money on this trip?

His therapist had said that fighting against the feeling could make it worse. That he should try accepting it and “sitting with it.” What an idiotic fucking idea. **_You_** _try sitting with it_ , he thought. He could see his hot breath rise in front of his face as he exhaled.

_Fuck!_ If he had to go through this again, couldn’t it have picked a better time?

And would it always be like this?

_Was_ there even a better time?

He was angry. At his doctors, at his brain, at his body, at himself. His teeth started to chatter as he realized that he had forgotten to grab his jacket, and he was annoyed at himself for caring about such inconsequential things as the cold.

What now? He stood there in the dark, shivering. He would have to go back to get Isak. If it was anyone else he would have just left them behind.

The heavy metal door behind him opened with a soft screech. He turned around just as it slammed back shut. Isak was standing in front of him, holding his jacket. He handed it to Even without a word, waited for him to put it on, and said, “let’s go home,” before taking his hand and heading in the direction of Even’s apartment.

They walked back silently, the soft crunch of boots on fresh snow marking their steps. Finally, as they entered the warm apartment, Even gathered the courage to speak.

“Did you…” he tried to sound casual. “You didn’t have fun?”

“Do you want some tea?” Isak asked, taking off his boots and heading into the kitchen.

“Erm… no, thanks, I’m good.”

“I’ll make you some tea,” he heard Isak’s voice from the kitchen.

_What the fuck._

Even stood in the doorway between the kitchen and the living room, watching Isak try to figure out where the kettle was, then the cups, and finally the tea.

“I don’t think we have any tea,” he said finally, after Isak had opened and closed every drawer and cupboard.

“Oh,” Isak looked a little sheepish, standing in front of the stove, looking at Even. “Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked.

“About the tea?” Even scrunched up his brows.

“Yes, about the tea,” Isak rolled his eyes. “No, of course not about the fucking tea!”

Whenever Isak was annoyed or frustrated, he would enact it with his whole body. His shoulders had sprung up to his chin, his arms flung out, palms outward, and his face scrunched up in disbelief.

Even raised his eyebrows at him. Was this Isak’s attempt at cheering him up? If nothing else, it was unique. And, to be fair, kinda cute.

Isak had thrown his head back and exhaled with a small groan before walking up to Even and looking him square in the eyes.

“Stop pretending you’re fine,” he said simply.

Even let out a small laugh. “I _am_ fine.”

Isak raised an eyebrow but did not respond.

“I don’t need you to take care of me,” Even said.

“Okay, fine,” Isak replied. “And I don’t need you to entertain me. So we can just stay here and chill for the rest of winter break.”

The sharp whistle of the kettle startled them both.

“Fuck,” Isak took it off the stove and turned off the burner.

“I don’t want you to…” Even started and stopped. He took a deep breath. “You didn’t blow through your savings and fly across the fucking ocean to sit in my dingy apartment.”

Isak scoffed. “First of all, I didn’t blow all my savings, and second, I didn’t…” he started getting worked up again, “I didn’t come here to talk to some randos at a party either.”

“I just don’t want you to spend your break taking care of me,” Even said.

“Well, tough shit.”

Even stared at him in disbelief. Why would he do this? Why would he want to spend his time off from school, a million miles from home, taking care of a him?

“Look,” Isak’s voice was softer now. “If I had, uh, I don’t know, broken a leg or something, wouldn’t you still wanna hang out with me? Or would you, like, just go off with my friends while I sit home alone and in pain?”

“It’s not the same thing,” Even said, staring at his feet.

“Why not?”

“Because it’s not a broken leg.” He looked up at Isak, “it’s not gonna heal. I can’t… still be fun while it’s happening. It’s not… a broken…” His breath caught in his throat and the final words came out in a croak. “It’s a broken person.”

“No.” Isak shook his head. “That’s ridiculous.”

Even knew that Isak was trying to help, trying to be a good boyfriend, a good person. But really, it wasn’t worth it. It wouldn’t make a difference. He would get tired of this sooner or later.

“Wait,” Isak said suddenly, “did I see hot chocolate in that cupboard?” He turned around and dug out a packet of hot cocoa that he then proceeded to prepare without a word, as Even stared at him, bewildered.

With the mug of hot chocolate in hand, Isak walked past him and into the living room.

“You coming?”

Even furrowed his brow but followed his lead, as Isak sat down on the couch and set the steaming mug on the coffee table in front of him.

Even settled back into the couch cushions, but Isak remained leaning forward, his elbow on his knees, with an intense look on his face. A few moments passed by in silence before he turned to face Even.

“You know the whole parallel universes thing?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Even shrugged.

“So, if there are infinite universes out there,” Isak started, “then there are infinite Isaks and Evens, right?” He waited for a nod from Even before continuing, “And then there’s gotta be at least one Even Bech Næsheim out there who is _not_ bipolar, who does not get manic or depressed, who is just chipper and fun and reasonable all the time, right?”

Even’s chest ached at the thought. Maybe in that universe he deserved someone like Isak.

“Yeah,” he whispered.

“I’m not in love with that Even,” Isak said, and Even’s heart skipped a beat.

“Huh?”

“He’s not you,” Isak spoke as though it was self-explanatory. “I’m in love with _you_. And you wouldn’t be you if you weren’t… _you_.” He frowned a little at his own mangled words, and squinted slightly at Even, as though checking if that made any sense.

It made perfect sense. And also it didn’t. Even just stared at him, mouth slightly ajar.

Isak took a breath and started over. “Okay, so, I study science, right? I know biology and chemistry, prooooobably a little more than you do.”

“Okay?”

“Well, mental illness isn’t a virus,” Isak said.

Even didn’t follow.

“It’s not.. it’s not a foreign body that entered your system and changed you. It’s just how your brain works.” He scooted closer, lifting his knee onto the couch. “We all have..." he struggled for the right word, "shit… that we deal with. I’m not always fun to be around. Nobody is. We don’t get to pick and choose parts of people to love. And I- I want the full package,” he raised his eyebrows, now smirking, “including the crazy.”

“Fuck you,” Even laughed. But he almost believed it.

“Look, I flew across the fucking Atlantic to hang out with my boyfriend. So I would like to do that, please.”

A small smile formed on Even’s lips. “Okay,” he said softly.

“Great!” Isak scooted all the way over so that he was nearly sitting in Even’s lap, and, pulling Even’s hand back around his shoulders, nestled his head in the crook of his arm. “What terribly pretentious movie are you gonna make me watch tonight?”

He turned his head to face Even, bright eyes looking up at him through thick lashes, and Even couldn’t help but kiss him.

 


End file.
